“Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.”

-Fran Lebowitz

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.”

-Fran Lebowitz

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.”

-Fran Lebowitz

“I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”

-Fran Lebowitz

“Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.”

-Fran Lebowitz

“Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.”

-Fran Lebowitz